He is such a slut. More and more my type.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize