i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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