Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
