is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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