was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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