I'm so fucking centered right now
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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