those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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