did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
