Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
