someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
