So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You smell like stripper and shame
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
