Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
