i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
