I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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