Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
