you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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