Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
