So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize