I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
