its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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