fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
