Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
