no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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