He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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