Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Everyone says I win the strip club
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
