I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
