He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
