I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize