bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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