I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Randomize
