Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
