Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
