as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
