I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
