and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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