No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
