Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
