I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
sarcasm needs its own font
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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