so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
this will be a night to untag.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
