dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
