this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
