i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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