Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
