she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Randomize
