You work out of a Hotel?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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