don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
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