He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize