my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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