Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
