Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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