Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
the raccoons are back...
Randomize