I am puke
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
