return my video game
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My vagina is officially offended.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
