Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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