this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
