Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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