Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Stop texting me, I'm right here.

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  (502): im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards. (773): Stop texting me, I'm right here. http://tfl.nu/1yrs
  Replies (8) Good night (5160) Bad night (1299)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.

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  (201): the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called. http://tfl.nu/7ag1
  Replies (9) Good night (923) Bad night (2497)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  That's when you crack a 10am beer

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  (206): That's when you crack a 10am beer http://tfl.nu/ppt1
  Replies (12) Good night (2664) Bad night (627)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth

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  (603): it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth http://tfl.nu/hcb6
  Replies (19) Good night (3837) Bad night (1100)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.

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  (405): Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am. http://tfl.nu/ox2k
  Replies (13) Good night (692) Bad night (4245)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?

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  (902): is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with? http://tfl.nu/yzo8
  Replies (56) Good night (1088) Bad night (5856)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.

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  (907): everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort. http://tfl.nu/2zhz
  Replies (15) Good night (4710) Bad night (1083)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth

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  (804): you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth http://tfl.nu/ftsz
  Replies (7) Good night (1065) Bad night (3790)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us

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  (214): Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us http://tfl.nu/gb64
  Replies (13) Good night (1438) Bad night (2881)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.

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  (484): The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread. http://tfl.nu/tsab
  Replies (1) Good night (2614) Bad night (680)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.

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  (814): Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark. http://tfl.nu/ixe0
  Replies (2) Good night (1481) Bad night (507)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks

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  (603): Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks http://tfl.nu/ddr9
  Replies (10) Good night (403) Bad night (620)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.

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  (540): I just told the sun to stop. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/3xc8
  Replies (3) Good night (533) Bad night (266)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I think weed is turning my hair brown

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  (216): I think weed is turning my hair brown http://tfl.nu/5mok
  Replies (6) Good night (281) Bad night (377)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Why is your solution always to masturbate

  (1-801): View more from Utah

  Because it usually works

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  (801): Why is your solution always to masturbate (1-801): Because it usually works http://tfl.nu/41jb
  Replies (4) Good night (786) Bad night (214)

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