Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....

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  (443): We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich.... http://tfl.nu/i7fe
  Replies (100) Good night (38903) Bad night (1487)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."

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  (571): We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants." http://tfl.nu/wjgr
  Replies (16) Good night (965) Bad night (3604)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...

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  (320): Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs... http://tfl.nu/sf3t
  Replies (56) Good night (1551) Bad night (4286)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone

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  (330): Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone http://tfl.nu/esjp
  Replies (68) Good night (6577) Bad night (1658)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.

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  (630): my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out. http://tfl.nu/fs1q
  Replies (15) Good night (1386) Bad night (4870)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game

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  (419): I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game http://tfl.nu/8vak
  Replies (5) Good night (3701) Bad night (1066)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.

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  (757): I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper. http://tfl.nu/o740
  Replies (4) Good night (3092) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.

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  (815): walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill. http://tfl.nu/3jcw
  Replies (5) Good night (2475) Bad night (1144)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.

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  (940): Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits. http://tfl.nu/jw0d
  Replies (10) Good night (1010) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol

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  (610): I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol http://tfl.nu/5mb9
  Replies (4) Good night (501) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.

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  (602): I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came. http://tfl.nu/kbkx
  Replies (6) Good night (330) Bad night (924)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach

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  (304): Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach http://tfl.nu/xbk1
  Replies (3) Good night (659) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.

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  (+44): Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss. http://tfl.nu/34xm
  Replies (1) Good night (562) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.

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  (334): Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks. http://tfl.nu/nhv4
  Replies (1) Good night (305) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?

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  (513): It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life? http://tfl.nu/tlmc
  Replies (5) Good night (849) Bad night (310)

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