Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter http://tfl.nu/j7mv
  Replies (1) Good night (1655) Bad night (765)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library. http://tfl.nu/gs64
  Replies (59) Good night (1133) Bad night (3831)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in" http://tfl.nu/uuti
  Replies (6) Good night (4565) Bad night (1573)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut http://tfl.nu/7k06
  Replies (40) Good night (5918) Bad night (1062)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt http://tfl.nu/t4r8
  Replies (25) Good night (12389) Bad night (1613)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever http://tfl.nu/1ydb
  Replies (16) Good night (1110) Bad night (3355)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us. http://tfl.nu/xpf1
  Replies (28) Good night (2272) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me. http://tfl.nu/clpj
  Replies (10) Good night (1708) Bad night (1143)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage http://tfl.nu/ka66
  Replies (9) Good night (2345) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week http://tfl.nu/594f
  Replies (1) Good night (953) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): how many people can say they bit their tattoo off? http://tfl.nu/3vcv
  Replies (4) Good night (437) Bad night (1637)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children. http://tfl.nu/cjdr
  Replies (2) Good night (934) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish. http://tfl.nu/o2hu
  Replies (0) Good night (562) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity. http://tfl.nu/k9k7
  Replies (3) Good night (1085) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys http://tfl.nu/l8fa
  Replies (2) Good night (326) Bad night (316)

Randomize