Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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