I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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