Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
