I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
