and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
