He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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