he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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