I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
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I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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