I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
