Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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