After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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